financial planning & alcoholism

My plans to attend grad school this fall have prompted me to take a closer look at my budget. I've always considered myself to be a careful spender, but this scrutiny has definitely led me to rethink some decisions. And consider seeking professional help. Outside of rent, utilities, and transportation, my top five monthly expenses are:

1. Booze
2. Cheese: since the bulk of my grocery/eating out expenses are cheese or cheese-related, it's high on the list
3. Coffee: depending on the season (hot vs. iced), trips per day, and the barista, it really adds up
4. Sushi: Funayama's spicy lunch combo with miso soup is truly irresistible
5. Cookies: they've become a Pavlovian response to finishing dinner

Red flags? Sure there are. Let's get some perspective. My top five list could look like this:

1. Booze (okay, yes, that's the same)
2. Blow
3. Diapers (I could have a baby! That would be pretty unfortunate, especially considering the rest of this list)
4. Checks written to organizations that support child prostitution and terrorism
5. Monthly payments towards a Hummer that I've leased

See! The reality isn't so bad!

Anyway, the booze expenses were a tad disconcerting, but after a careful look at the AA website, I have concluded that I am not an alcoholic:

AA: Have you ever tried to stop drinking for a week, but only lasted a few days?
Me: No, why would I ever want to stop drinking for a week? That's just crazy talk!

AA: Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking any time you want to, even though you keep getting drunk when you don't mean to?
Me: Look, AA, I can't help having such a low tolerance for alcohol! Maybe if I wasn't such a lightweight I wouldn't get drunk all the time, ok!?

AA: Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not drink?
Me: Absolutely not! No way, nope. No! Seriously though, just back the eff off.

See, there's no problem here. Everything will be just fine! Who's thirsty?

winner: Funayama, Jack's Coffee, Lifethyme, Ray's Pizza, most bars in lower Manhattan
loser: my wallet